DIVORCE AFTER RETIREMENT
Oh, gosh. This will be a really painful topic for me. I was divorced in May 2018. My story is one you may have seen in movies or read in books: lying, cheating, gambling, fraud. I can only repeat what Fox Mulder said, “Trust no one.” My -ex really liked The X-Files, so I threw him a surprise birthday party with a cake that said ‘Trust No One.’ After the divorce, I felt like a fool for having trusted him, but my attorney said it’s natural to trust your spouse.
Worst of all was him using a shell game to take all of our money, so I had no home for retirement, and no money to live on or pay my attorney. I had to apply for credit cards to pay my bills, and that made my credit score tumble. Me, my family, and my friends were stunned that he didn’t exhibit any signs that he had been skimming off the money for years. I had a talk with my children and nieces: KEEP YOUR MONEY SEPARATE — TRUST NO ONE. A joint account does not mean security.
I didn’t blame God for my predicament, but I couldn’t pray. I only asked for strength and guidance to be able to follow my new path. Family and friends prayed for and with me. During times like these, I leaned heavily on others. They picked up my pieces, put them in a basket, carried them for me, then helped me reassemble them. They held me up and taught me to walk again.
God introduced me to my best friend 30 years ago. Tee. I called her spouse ‘Husband #2’ since he was always fixing things for me (his real name is Dan.) When my world came tumbling down, they told me I could live with them for the rest of my life. I am blessed. Although they each had an office at home, they combined their offices and gave me a room. I still tear up when I talk about their love and generosity. We are learning to live together. Dan is pretty down-to-earth, so he’s having to adjust to living with my skewed humor, anxiety, and ADHD. But we are both insomniacs, so we have each other to talk to at 2:30 a.m.
The first thing we did as a new family was to go to the airport to pick up a Great Pyrenees puppy. Tee and I behaved like kids, “I get to hold her first!” Dan stayed out of it. When we got to the airport, it turned out Tee had to stay with the car since I had to provide proof of ownership documents, and Dan was going to carry the kennel. When I leaned down to look into the kennel, I realized I couldn’t get her out of it because she was so big that I couldn’t lift her weight. Dan got to hold her first! And Tee picked her name saying her hair was so light and fluffy it reminded her of champagne bubbles. We named her Champagne. “Cham.”
Things began to be relevant to me again.
I felt good enough to start thinking of my self as an individual. Studying my new reality. The first thing on my agenda was to buy a Lotto ticket! Then I knew I needed additional income using my abilities, so I started this blog site.
Sometimes it’s hard to write without some anger and bitterness popping through. Lots of backspacing as I type. My humor has always been skewed. Lots of backspacing again. It’s been almost one year since my divorce. I don’t know how or when my angry thoughts and nightmares will stop popping up, but I will say that happy moments have started blurring the thoughts, and I have noticed my spirit lightening up.
Little things mean so much. My sister sent me a funny article. The El Paso Zoo is doing an online event called “Quit Bugging Me.” You submit a name, the Zoo names a cockroach after that person, then the roach is fed to a Meerkat. The Zoo had so many names submitted, it had to feed named roaches to other animals as well. Guess whose name I submitted for my cockroach?
Revenge can be so sweet. LOL!!